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mr_grieves_tnMr. Grieves the Book

Mr. Grieves #154 PDF Print E-mail
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Cartoons - Mr. Grieves
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A message from Dick Stiffman, V.P. of Customer Relations at B.P. Hello, America. This is Dick saying hola from B.P. We're as concerned as you about the oil spill in the Gulf... Or as we like to call it, the oil thingy. In fact, we may be MORE concerned than anyone. I'd like to personally chastise anyone who thinks we don't care about the environment. Shame on you! We love the goddamn delicious shrimp in the Gulf. And the goddamn sea creatures, those goofy bastards tug at our heart strings. We love all the alien beasts in the sea. And who can forget the sea turtles. Those crusty bastards deserve to live another 100 years. Since we obviously can't stop this dilemma ourselves, we've decided to let YOU tell us how to fix it. After 10 minutes of intensive cold calling, we chose Wilbur from Mobile, whose idea was pure genius. I told B.P. that my old lady's tampons clog up my toilet real good. Some bitch is clogged now. So B.P. used all its resources to build the world's largest tampon to be inserted into the oil thingy. And by golly, we hope Wilbur is right. Frankly, we got nothing else if this doesn't work. This is Dick saying Buenos Noches from B.P. And Godspeed to the goddamn delicious shrimp.
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Last Updated on Wednesday, 09 June 2010 06:22
 
Mr. Grieves #153 PDF Print E-mail
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Cartoons - Mr. Grieves
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I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and I've decided to make so big changes in my life. The stress that comes from some financial burdens and lifestyle pressures has led me to throw away all my credit cards and give the middlefinger to credit companies. They're evil. Reduce unnecessary expenses in my life and shun the latest fads and gadgets. Fuck the iPad. Focus on the things that make me happy, like time with family and friends. Without the burden of working to live, I'm free to just live, be me, be happy. So you're letting your credit score go in the crapper so you can be happy? Yep. You got some balls, monkey boy. I like that. Thanks. So... Yes? Will you buy a brother a hamburger? I'm broke. Being free sucks, huh? Totally.
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Last Updated on Friday, 14 May 2010 08:12
 
Mr. Grieves Featured on Scribd.com PDF Print E-mail
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Mr GrievesI'm famous, bitches! The bastards at Scribd.com have selected Mr. Grieves #152 as a Featured Document! All I can say is, they have good taste. What more can I say? Chimps are sexy. Now go over there and read more of my cartoons. Download some and hang them in your bathroom. Then read other great documents about the Kama Sutra or find old issues of Playboy from the 1960s. Nice!

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Last Updated on Wednesday, 12 May 2010 07:33
 
Mr. Grieves #152 PDF Print E-mail
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Cartoons - Mr. Grieves
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Dear God, why do you have to make life so goddamn hard sometimes? Oh sorry, that was unnecessary. But I'm just being honest. I mean, people keep telling me that I can't appreciate the good times unless I go through some bad times. But... I think that is a big pile of shit. I ALWAYS appreciate the good times. Why do you have to make me suffer? If you're trying to teach me a lesson, then I'm not quite sure what it is. If you're trying to get me to resent you... Then you're doing a pretty good job of that. If you're trying to make me question your existence, then kudos to you... You're making it really tough on me to maintain any type of faith that things will swing back to greener pastures. Come on, buddy. Give me a sign. Give me a nugget of hope. Give me a smidgeon of the good stuff. Come on. DO IT! Well, I'll be waiting. You know where to find me. Talk soon, homie. Amen.
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Last Updated on Friday, 07 May 2010 07:55
 
Mr. Grieves #151 PDF Print E-mail
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Last Updated on Monday, 14 June 2010 06:54
 
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mrgrieves:I still don't know if I should tell her. SMILEYS_wtf...
nathan:DO IT!!! SMILEYS_twisted...
mrgrieves:This is so embarrassing. Who wrote this? ...
prettybird:I look fabulous on that cover. SMILEYS_bird...
mrgrieves:Will that damn snail ever find a friend? Doubt it....